The Word of God is the truth, it contains all that the Earth contains. Right from the start of the Bible – Genesis, to the last book – Revelation, the bible has repeatedly mentioned about personal relationship with God, as well as between friends and family. There is always a hierarchy on how things are created. It is biblical. From pottery and clay, to shepherd and sheep, then master and servant, finally husband and wife. These analogy refers to man-to-man relationship, but also the maturity level of being a Christian. How much do you communicate with people and God?

Adam is first created, this signifies that man should have the dominion over things that God has handed to him. The simplest way is to be the salt and light of the Earth, be influential and leaving an impact in your marketplace. Eve is created, not only to multiply, but also for another reason. Just as stated in the Bible, Adam should not be alone, hence, He created Eve. Thousands of Hebrew words are not perfectly being translated into English. The word “alone”, doesn’t mean being segregated, but “separated from”. In other words, Eve was created so that Adam will not be separated from God. At this point, God knew Adam was moving away from Him. God has answers to everything. The question to his whereabouts after eating the apple is rhetorical. Eve’s responsibility is to protect, surround, and support in the spiritual realm, whereas Adam is to do so in the physical realm. This is further evidenced by the fact that God spoke to Eve and not Adam in the Garden of Eden. He knew Adam is moving further away from Him. But the man, still, should have higher spiritual level to lead the wife. The wife’s role is to support, not provide.

People often held a causation mindset about Christian lifestyle. This will in result in human error in judging one’s maturity level with God. Your involvement in Church does not totally reflect your intimacy with God, or how steadfast you hold true to His Word. But, the way you lead your daily lives is the anecdote. This is why many Churches focus on testimony. Certainly, reading the Bible everyday is the only way to know more  about God’s Word. Understanding the story is one, practical application is another. There are many books that illustrated one verse per day throughout the year, but by reading one verse alone, the probability of misinterpreting the verse is high. Hence, reading the chapter or the book even, is ideal.

Conclusion, no conclusion. The End.

Losing it

– Start –

The world goes round, round round, and round.

Flexible schedule becomes inflexible and stale. It sucks.

One weekend off, takes a simple word, difficult.

Going away from it, takes one vocabulary, uncommitted.

Friends are everywhere,

close friends are few.

God gives the good and the bad,

but I ask to have the wisdom to choose.

Emotional creatures God has created,

Love, Hate, Sad, Joy, Hurt, Happiness,

whatever stand you take,

it will always be a mixture of some.

– The End –

———————————————————————————————————————————

Emerging into year 2k,

one haughty white rabbit came hopping into the brightly and spiritually lighted building.

A church, the rabbit soon realized.

CHC, one of Singapore’s liveliest church, soon she realized.

With Faith, she stayed.

With Faith, she went deep down into the water and was reborn again.

With this act, she wanted an English name, just like everyone else.

Lemon Tee, is what she has decided.

She grew and changed.

Twice her teeth werebraced.

Twice her retainer are worn.

But many times,

she has been a joy to others through her presence.

Shy at the beginning, but soon the shyness begins to fade.

Ice has been broken, the sun has risen.

And God blessed me with a wonderful rabbit.

I don’t eat rabbit meat too.

Full Stop.

After so long….

– The Beginning –

Trains of thoughts patronizing my inward personality, have caused a vast upheaval in my emotions. Musing over the past Christmas till date, I noted the lists of things achieved, abandoned, and even those that I keep temporizing thus far. How amazing it is for humans to state out their goals deftly and swiftly, but takes great multitudes of determination, studious, and effort to accomplish those.

The list of objectives I have jotted down ends with a shorter footnote. This can be seen as lesser strife for a new year, or the one which applies to me more would be, the year which I find more contentment in. Undoubtedly, it seems as though having more goals to achieve is parallel of looking forward to conclude each. However, it also reflects on how much I am willing to put forth my effort in.

It’s the third quarter of the year 2009. Indeed, the inconsistent habit of scribbling my wants on the offering envelop did make it come to realization. I passed my driving with as little as 4 demerit points!! I am glad that my family, all the ninis, and Miah, are happy and excited for me. =D Thank God for blessing me with awesome friends and family.

Have been reading a book by Apellos Poh, he is an influential writer indeed. In his book, he mentioned about many life changing attitudes. Live a balanced life, and not life on a balance. Such a balance is absolutely subjective to individual. What is balance and sufficient for one may not be the same for another. But many times, many people would often place their judgment on others, just because they behave differently, or have a different commitment level. Expectations deficiency I would say. The problem that people often notices is the personality itself and not concluding if it’s really due to external forces. For instance, one who did not commit as much in this work and project, they would deem the person putting in little effort or being a free loader and lazy. But in actual fact, it could be due to personal reasons. Or… Unable to make it for things or being late or refusing a request will be concluded that it’s their personality. I do not want to point out names, but I do pray that such judgmental annotation would be voided out.

Unequal amount but EQUAL SACRIFICES is what I adhere. The bible says, what you have sowed on earth will be bound and revealed on Heaven. Hence, I seek not to place “facts” on someone. Gain much, lose some. The biggest loser is one who losest his soul.

If mutual understanding is the key to all successful relationship, why does it seem so difficult to comprehend the situation? I was crying out to God one day.  He blessed me with this relationship, but why didn’t he allow us to have a day together? Whether it’s an adult couple, young adult courthip, or family, a day together is essential to keep the relationship healthy. And “finding a balance” is what I got. Truly, I can’t strike a balance if such advantage is ripped off me. Things could be made flexible, but how ironic others see it as a one way street. If a dad has to work extra shift, he would make it up on weekend, or take a day off only if the family is free on weekdays. Scenarios go on. I am tired. But I am glad family and friends are there for me. And God as well. If things are going to be stagnant, I can only seek a new door for a less tormenting route.

On a lighter note, I want to drive my friends and family around one day. =D And this paragraph is dedicated to Yanni, =>

First Impression of her: Introvert, shy, looks like a rabbit.

As time progresses: Friendly, can be lazy, and loves to wear polo tee

More: Glad to see her in the Kingdom of God. Being with her ( as friends!) can be lame, but it is often funny.  Seek to know her more. =D

– The end of my post –

GOD IS AWESOME AND I LOVE HIM.

missing out or gaining from

Striking a balance from both ends in all situations is vital. I will never give in to any request or suggestion especially it’s not based on mutual understanding. A forced deal only leads to no end.

Subconscious, how true it is

What a wonderful ugly way it is to wake up from your beauty sleep when your alarm clock is the nightmare you had during your precious sleep and rest. The night before was a struggle to digest all disappointing events into the back of your memory. How amazing it is when your brain works and it provokes your memory lane whilst you are in your sweet dreamland. Little evil hobgoblin came rushing out of their tiny caves, holding somewhat pistols like in their hands. Despite knowing those “weak” weapons would not hurt you in any way, you will still be running for your life as far as your leg takes you to. 

But nonetheless, guilt plays a fair part in nightmare. There will be fear in your soul, even if it’s at one dark corner. It still exists. But the fear learned to escape when you are sound asleep. Such emotional tension and guiltiness consume us over.

It applies so metaphorically in our lives. Insignificant lies and wrongs you commit, they will take its place and accumulate into an unexpected bomb. When you loses the ability to bottle up all guilt, symptoms began to elude through your behavior, thoughts and even dreams. Disappointment and guilt may seize every possible opportunities to rule your thoughts, but two things that you must never forsake are love and determination. 

With love, you can influence the people around you, making a difference. You can impact people’s life, changing their thoughts, as though it’s your mini propaganda project. But of course, in the right way. With determination, the number of times you have failed will not undermines your morality. 

Truly, human brains are indeed complex. But only humans can seek to analyze and explain and express themselves. As such, nightmare is a form of signal, telling you to fix the area of your life that is broken. I really began to wonder, how much effort is needed and is there a definite formula to follow suit to put things down, let go, and move forward towards the finishing line of success… Pondering . .

Weird and quirky dreams are all I have been experiencing lately. 

An innocent and wild bird, wrapped in a ripe banana, came chasing after me;

Which in my knowledge and memory, I didn’t even do anything to “it” at all. 

 

Year 2008 is coming to a close soon, yet there is still a list of unfulfilled resolutions. 

The worst has not been said and done. Knowing that it is impossible to accomplish the goal is the worst scenario one could have. 

Here are a few that remains pending: 

1) Getting a more toned/ less flabby (whatever you prefer) body

     –  Did lose some weight, but kind of gain some back. But it’s too flabby for my own good.

2) Driving license 

    – Rah… talking about this causes slight depression. Laziness has to simply be shut off.

3) Scoring for my module(s)

     – Have done 3 modules thus far. A-, B, C-, are the results (not in any sequence). I meant score, not getting more different alphabets 

4) Heart of Expectancy 

    – Have been too busy that lethargic sets in. I’m still on the rope to alleviate my standards of works. 

 

 

Nonetheless, there have been many worth praising and commenting actualized vision / resolution / surprises. 

1) Braces are removed 

    – Result is awesome. For once, I feel like smiling to the whole world. 

2) In comparison with Year 2007, my level of faith and commitment in God’s Kingdom has grown to a higher notch. But I vision myself engaging more =D

    – Has rise up as a CGC is a stepping stone, there’s more to come. Vision in pressing into people’s life. But like Nehemiah, work is needed to materialize all the visions.

3) Have tamed my temper (though I rarely flare up), but when I do, I handled it WELL.

    – When anger caves in, I begin to talk and reason with myself. (wondering if this is a good or bad thing. hmm…)

4) God has blessed me with a wonderful guy, Miah. It is truly an unexpected (surprise) blessing that puts me in bliss.  

     – Oh my, this is where I come with a heart of expectancy for stability. 

5) Building Fund is here and I have the faith to fulfill my pledge! 

    – Building God’s house comes above all else. 

6) Stronger bonding between friends, cg members, family. 

7) Hitch on a 2.5 months job that enables me to fulfill my Building Fund, with favor of men (wonderful colleagues). working life is more enjoyable. 

 

There will be more to come. Never settle for less when you can strive for the better. Yea?

Wooosh ~~

In a state of confusion really disgusted myself for who I am.

Praises of the goodness in him are hovering around me.

Little did they understand and feel the indifference attitude he practices.

I expect more. I wanted more.

I needed something that is missing here.

I want him to show more concern.

I need him to shower me with a secure love.

At times, I feel that I am running the race alone.

With mediums for me to release my disappointments and sadness;

but not the pillar support when I collapse.

Have I chosen the right path?

I know I did. But why does God shows me the way when he barricaded it?

The feeling is so strong that it throbs my emotion.

Lying down, facing up. If stars are by my side forever…

Expectations come easy. Fulfilling them are hard.

Trying not to be so hard on myself, setting aside personal time seems simple for everyone else.

I could declare, “It WAS easy and I had PLENTY.”

People begin stacking up their presumptions upon you, wanting all to be completed.

Organizers and alarms for an absent-minded person like me seem like an excellent solution.

But impish circumstances always seem to invite themselves to sanitize my already planned to-do lists.

Irritated.

I do want to meet all expectations. I do.

 

I do need my personal time. But why does it seem hard to show consideration for?

Wondering. . .